grammar - "If you don't mind me asking" or "If you don't mind my asking"?

Which one is more appropriate - "If you don't mind me asking" or "If you don't mind my asking"?

I always thought that it was "If you don't mind me asking", but I recently heard "If you don't mind my asking" (more precisely, whilst watching True Detective, I heard "If you don't mind me asking" but the subtitles read "If you don't mind my asking").

Now, the latter makes sense if "asking" is referred to as a noun, but it sounds a little twisted.

Which one is the right one?

Thanks

Answer

You may say either one, though the meaning would slightly differ.

• "Me asking" is more protocolar with deference for your interlocutor ; it's the usual version.


• "My asking" - which is also OK - is just excusing your question, not your person expressing it. (I guess we would not use it before a king, even if we don't care of royalty as in the White House & Senate we hear "excuse my asking" in comittee or from the press. In Courts, the bench often shoots "my asking".)