Wednesday, January 4, 2017

grammar - How should I structure sentences in a series



Lets say I have the following sentences...




Cake is really bad for you. It contains a large amount of sugar. It contains common allergens. It looks silly.




Additionally, lets say I wanted to connect all three of these thoughts together in a similar manner...





Cake is really bad for you. It contains a large amount of sugar. It contains common allergens. And, it looks silly.




Now, I know that using an "And" at the beginning of the sentence is poor grammar. I also realize this is more of a paragraph structure, so I could do some word-smithing to make it work that way.



However, this feels a lot like a series of items, and I would really love to treat it as such...




Cake is really bad for you: it contains a large amount of sugar; it contains common allergens; and it looks silly.





Is there a structure in the English language that provides for this? Is the above the proper usage?



Thanks!


Answer



I would use a dash and commas to separate each of the explanatory thoughts. Removing the redundant pronouns and verbs makes it even cleaner.




Cake is really bad for you - it contains a large amount of sugar,

common allergens, and looks silly.



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