Consider the following two paragraphs:
The data was compelling. It appears that all of the companies abandoned that manufacturing method - with one exception - when it was determined to be less efficient.
The data was compelling. With one exception, it appears that all of the companies abandoned that manufacturing method when it was determined to be less efficient.
The idea being conveyed is that one company did not abandon a manufacturing method upon studying data. Both paragraphs convey this information, but in two different ways. I am curious as to which one is more correct if the criteria is proper English.
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