verb agreement - we come across so many noteworthy thoughts *to point out*. What's wrong with this sentence?

I have a feeling that something is wrong with this sentence but don't know it's grammatical reason. Can you help me with it?

In reviewing Sylvia Plath`s short poem Mirror, we come across so many noteworthy thoughts to point out, but one of the most eye-catching facets one may want to underscore is...

Answer

It's perfectly grammatically correct, but is quite clumsy and overwritten.

To give an analagous sentence

When walking through the forest we find many mushrooms to collect, but the tastier ones are...

Point out is a verb in your sentence, but there are other verbs that would be better suited - highlight, note or emphasise come to mind.

If I were writing the sentence, here's what I'd write:

Original

In reviewing Sylvia Plath`s short poem Mirror, we come across so many noteworthy thoughts to point out, but one of the most eye-catching facets one may want to underscore is...

Revision

In reviewing Sylvia Plath`s short poem Mirror, we discover many thoughts worth noting. One of the most eye-catching facets is...

Revisions:

• 'so many' - 'so' is a redundant word. Don't use it.


• 'come across' - Very informal. Use a synonym.


• 'noteworthy thoughts to point out' -> It's redundant to mention that the thought is both noteworthy and is worth pointing out. If you are already pointing it out, then it suggests that's noteworthy, so you can drop the noteworthy.


• 'but one' - 'but' is not necessary.


• I split the run on sentence into two sentences.


• 'one may wish to underscore' - Unnecessary - we've already said that points are noteworthy.