A secondary meaning of crossgrained is
"Perverse; untractable; contrary; difficult to deal with. (eg) She was none of your crossgrained, termagant, scolding jades. - Arbuthnot."
What is the etymology of this usage, and when was the word first so used?
Note, crossgrained most commonly means "Having the grain or fibers run diagonally, or more or less transversely and irregularly, so as to interfere with splitting or planing". That this is by far the most-common usage of the word can be seen via examples for crossgrained and cross grained from ngrams. ngrams also shows that the form crossgrained is used far more often than either of the forms cross grained or cross-grained; but neither wiktionary nor etymonline includes crossgrained.
Answer
The primary definition from the same source explains the metaphorical use as shown in the secondary.
"Having the grain or fibers run diagonally, or more or less transversely and irregularly, so as to interfere with splitting or planing."
"If the stuff proves crossgrained, . . . then you must turn your stuff to plane it the contrary way."
Both senses boil down to "difficult to deal with".
[see also:]
cross-grained
Adjective
(of timber) Having an irregular rather than a parallel grain.
(by extension) Difficult to deal with; contrary or troublesome.
Wiktionary defines the second meaning as 'by extension' if the basic sense.
[Edit-2] re: "and when was the word first so used?"
"The new encyclopædia; or, Universal dictionary of arts and sciences" (Google eBook) 1807 records: 2. Perverse; troublesome; vexatious.
It cites Hudibras, L'Estrange, apart from Arbuthnot (John Bull)
Arbuthnot (c1750,) seems to be the most typically cited reference for the figurative use of cross(-)grained. So we may infer that to be the earliest.
However, this 1734 reference is also interesting
What a crossgrained piece is man ? He will eat when he should not, and he will not eat when he should. When God said, " Eat not of this forbidden fruit," — then he will be sure to pearls before swine," Matt. vii. 6.
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